Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Who We Marry.
The other day Henry asked me some questions: Why do people get married? Who do people marry? You married Daddy, can I marry you? Or can I marry Daddy?
I explained to him that some people get married, and that some people choose not to get married. We talked about marriage and about how people marry who they love- who they want to spend their days with. I said something about having a partner to go through life with, to share the good times and the bad, someone to laugh with and joke with and eat sandwiches and share ice cream sundaes with. We kept it simple- in a couple of sentences I just told Henry that he can marry whoever he wants. Some people marry men, some people marry women. It's all in who you love.
Later that night I thought more about that short conversation. I thought about how interesting it is, to be teaching my child that we love who we want. We marry who we want. If you love someone of the same sex, then you love someone of the same sex. That's just who you are and it is no different than if you were to love someone of the opposite sex. And it's not like my parents ever taught me that being gay is wrong, but there was a "norm" there. There wasn't any hate taught in our house; we just weren't ever around anything other than what was seen as a "traditional" relationship and in effect that simply was just not part of our culture. Boys and girls. This is the way it was.
So I think about growing up and hearing something totally different. Having the norm be LOVE and whatever that means to you. To understand that no matter who you are, what you like, who you love...you are safe in our home and we will accept you for always.
One big wish for our children is that they are always able to be who they are, and feel comfortable being that person. I hope that by giving them a safe place at home to practice that, they will feel confident in standing up for themselves and what they believe in outside of our home as well. So now as I look at our two boys, playing and laughing and giggling and smiling, and I think to myself how much I love these little people...whoever these little people turn out to be.